POOCH PANDEMIC


The initial days of working from home brought quizzical looks and tentative delight among the canine community, however, this was soon replaced with unbridled joy at the new arrangement with four-legged members of our society expressing uniform delight at the advancement of the coronavirus, with a reported massive rise in all-causes tail wagging, with incidents of sad eyes said to be at a historic low* (Source: Made up stats for dog lovers).

In slightly more legitimate science, however, Director of Yale University Canine Cognition Center, Dr Laurie Santos, has spoken about the effect of us being home all the time on our beloved pooches. And while they may not be overly concerned with R-0 numbers or the flattening of curves, they’re very much aware that something is afoot: “Dogs don’t know about pandemics or viruses, but they definitely know that their routine has changed and that you’re around the house more often.” Also, wondering why your dog came over and licked your face when you were in a crumpled, tear-stained puddle during your last mid-afternoon corona-induced meltdown? It was no coincidence. Studies have shown that humans secrete odours that communicate their emotions to dogs, allowing them to be uniquely tuned in to how we’re feeling. Dr Santos continued: “They almost surely detect that we’re going through an anxious time right now. If you can, try to remember that if you’re emoting anxiety, your dog is going to feel it, too.” While that may explain their emotional sensitivity, it’s not the reason they’re pre-occupied with the pyjamas you’ve been wearing for six days straight. While people on Zoom can’t smell those curry stains, your dog can. Handy hint: your dog’s level of interest in your favourite pandemyjamas is directly proportional to the need of said garments to be boil-washed. 

Stepping away from science for a moment, we thought the best way to gauge the positive impact of coronavirus on our fluffier cohort, was to speak directly with them and their co-habitators. But really we just wanted to make a page full of pictures of dogs living their best lives, because that is the sort of dopamine-drenched content that our sauteed synapses need right now. So without further ado, we give you The Delighted Dogs of Coronavirus. 

This is Layla McGovern, she worked as security for Girls Aloud before settling down in Wicklow, Ireland where she likes to do macramé, bark at pheasants and get her belly rubbed.

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This is Nancy Lenihan. Her top hobby is clean laundry: dashing over to the machine when the load is done, knocking items off the clothes horse and rolling around in damp towels where possible. She is also extremely compliant when being dressed by her mother and therefore has no qualms about looking like a fool for love. She growls in her sleep.

 This is Bonnie Bollard, she’s an up and coming music promoter. Who’s enjoying working from home currently and is hopeful for the the future of the industry. In her spare time she enjoys eating through walls, barking at anything the dare enter her garden and long walks in the beach. 

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This is Ted Breen, he’s raging as normally when his housemates Sarah, Ronan and Ely leave the house, he likes to kick back, drink their beer and have some low-to-medium key sessions. It was his own decision to deliberately match his bedlinen to himself.

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These are Indie and Lola Long. Devoted partners as you can see from their wedding pics at the top. Lola’s folks both ended up in the slammer and she was heading down the route of a string of teenage pregnancies, but she found love with Indie and the pair live a blissful existence. Indie wants to open his own dog food shop when the lockdown is over. 

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This (below) is Puddin Moynihan. When he’s not busting chops to get his staff to meet deadlines. He likes Disney movies,  afternoon tea, and hates getting his paws wet never mind dirty. He believes life is a constant journey of self-improvement and is using the lockdown to learn Mandarin.


This is Milly Moynihan, she spends a lot of time dodging Puddin’s barking about deadlines. She likes classical music, chasing horses, and rolling around in any shite.

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This is Juno McElarney. She loves sleeping in tents, lying in the sun, hanging out with her 3 best buddies and making a show of her family.

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This is Daisy Gleeson. She's a Sagittarius. She currently has very long nails due to her local peticure salon being closed but she's ok with that as they help immensely with writing passive aggressive emails while she works at home, the longer the nails the longer the emails. Sass.

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This is Polly McArdle. She takes smells very seriously. She'd been offered a position working in one of the major perfume houses of London before the lockdown.

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It's business as usual working from home in the Fay household. Reggie Fay (on the right) is pleased to announce she won 'Employee of the week'.

Edgar The Hamhead (on the left) is sorry to report he received a verbal warning

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This is Roxy Hanley. She's a bit of a bad-arse who loves chasing tail and pissing on mail and has an internet history full of squirrel chase videos. 

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This is Balue, she enjoys longs walks smelly water and sniffing the air with intent. She spent time in an Afghani jail for tax evasion in a previous life. Now she's just mad for the cuddles with her fam.

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This is Coco Scales, she likes Tupac, jumping from 1st floor windows & also rolling in fox shite

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This is Ted Gleeson, he likes chasing birds, sniffing other dogs arses, and visibly salivates at roast chicken. He enjoys long walks, spooning, travelling and is a general all round buzzer. 

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This is Rumba McFaul, a glen of imaal terrier who is well versed in the ancient tradition a of Sean Nós* (a highly ornamented style of unaccompanied traditional Irish singing)

This is Arlene Longbottom, she's in bits from too many wines at the quiz last night...

This is Narla Lonbottom. She was at the same quiz, but on the vodka. 

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